Food for Taught

“A few people have questioned why I publicly acknowledged that a Durham Regional Police Service member died by suicide.

During that same period, a Hamilton Police officer also died by suicide while off duty.

I did not mention these deaths to be sensational or to intrude upon the families’ privacy. I mentioned them because uncomfortable truths should not be swept under the carpet. Suicide can be acknowledged honestly, carefully and respectfully.

Because of the stigma surrounding suicide, there is often a sense of shame attached to those who die by suicide and to the people who loved them.

We must replace that shame with compassion.

Anyone whose life ends by suicide did not arrive at that point lightly. Whatever circumstances brought them there, they were experiencing a level of suffering that had become unbearable to them. They and their families deserve compassion, not judgment, secrecy or shame.

A large Canadian study of public-safety personnel, including police officers, firefighters, paramedics and emergency dispatchers, found that 27.8% had contemplated suicide during their lifetime, 13.3% had made a plan and 4.6% had attempted suicide. Approximately 10% had experienced suicidal thoughts within the previous year.

These numbers should concern all of us.

Yet Canada does not even maintain a consistent national system for tracking how many police officers, firefighters, paramedics and emergency dispatchers die by suicide each year. That absence of basic information is itself part of the problem.

Police officers and other emergency-service personnel carry extraordinarily demanding responsibilities. Many begin these careers at a young age. They may receive extensive operational training, but that does not necessarily prepare them to process repeated exposure to trauma, death, violence, suffering and overwhelming responsibility.

That distress can look different for everyone. It may appear as depression, PTSD, alcohol misuse, anger, emotional withdrawal, relationship difficulties or suicidal thoughts. It can affect first responders, their colleagues and the families they return home to.

Emotional-resilience training should begin when people enter these professions, but it cannot end there. Regular emotional and psychological support must continue throughout their careers. It needs to be confidential, easily accessible and FULLY NORMALIZED.

No one should fear shame, judgment or professional consequences for acknowledging that they are struggling and asking for help.

The leadership and management of our emergency services, along with the politicians responsible for overseeing and funding them, must accept a higher level of responsibility. The people serving in these professions are our friends, family members, neighbours and members of our communities. They have chosen careers dedicated to serving and protecting us. We have a responsibility to ensure that they are protected as well.

This is not criticism of the men and women who serve our communities. It is recognition that they are human beings carrying burdens that most of us will never fully understand.

Silence does not protect them. Shame does not protect them. Honest acknowledgement, compassion, meaningful support and institutional accountability might.”

Author: Unknown

From Staff Sgt. Jesse Aubin – RCMP

“Thank you so much for having me last evening, Lily.It was a very impactful event for me to attend having lost colleagues to suicide.

Hopefully, I can come visit the legion again”

From Joan Sequoia – MWO Seki’s Sister. Starting next year and going forward we will have more of his family out.

“I have just arrived back in New Jersey. It was a lovely drive both ways.
I am impressed with all the hard work that went into the march, the service and the reception afterwards. It was all quite moving. I was utterly undone.
Thank you for all you did and the warm welcome and support.
Hope to attend next year
Hugs to you”

Joan

In Memoriam of WO George Hohl

Below is quoted from Michelle Hohl, Spouse and Therapist. Her wish is to give this wide spread distribution. The more we talk about suicide and mental health, the more we break down the silence and stigma that keep so many from reaching out.
These are her words:

“At first, I planned to keep this private and be the only one who knew. After a lot of reflection, I’ve decided to share it because I want you to hear it from me.

This was not an easy decision — it’s complicated for everyone, and especially for me since this is my profession. That makes it a heavy thing to carry. But if I don’t speak openly about the cause of death, it feels like I’m implying there’s something shameful about it, or that it’s a secret. I don’t believe that for a second.

I am, and always will be, incredibly proud of George. He often struggled to believe that himself so, I often told him how proud we are. I love him with all my heart. Nothing about that changes. He is my hero.

The cause of death has been confirmed to be suicide.

I believe that we can honour George’s legacy by normalising and having open, transparent discussions about men’s mental health and suicide.

Nothing makes sense to us that made sense to him. This was an act of agency, not weakness. We are all on our journeys. He couldn’t see clearly through the pain.

The lesson here is to have people we commit to share with, even the pain and deepest turmoil.

Help is available.
Anywhere in Canada.
9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline”

In Memoriam of Darius Garda

“I want to start by extending my deepest gratitude for your incredible work and commitment in organizing the annual Heroes of Suicide Memorial March and Candlelight Service. The importance of what you and the Royal Canadian Legion Todmorden Branch 10 are doing cannot be overstated, as you are helping to honour those who have tragically lost their lives to the battle with PTSD while offering much-needed support to their families.

It is truly an honour to be invited to this event, and I would be humbled to attend and place a candle in memory of my brother, Darius. The work you do holds a special place in my heart, and knowing that Darius has been honoured since 2016 speaks volumes about the deep care and thoughtfulness behind this service.

I look forward to being part of this solemn and important day and joining others in raising awareness of PTSD, suicide prevention and ensuring that no one is forgotten. Thank you for creating such a meaningful space for remembrance and healing.”

You and your team did a phenomenal job honouring those we have lost, and I am grateful to have that memory.”

With sincere gratitude,

Dilnaz Garda, President
Canada Beyond The Blue
“Strengthening & supporting police families”

In Memoriam of MW Officer Seki

“Thank you so much for adding my brother’s name to the very sad and tragic list. The service and procession were a lovely way to remember those men and women. It gave me comfort.
Also thank you for all the hard work and organization. I met many wonderful people.”

With my heartfelt thanks,

Joan Sequeira (sister of MW Officer Seki)